


Above and Beyond

by nanaa127



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ambiguous Morality, Gen, brotherhood era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27259216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanaa127/pseuds/nanaa127
Summary: Noct knew that the term 'service' covered a lot of different things when it came to his faithful retainers. He just never imagined that it would includethis.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	Above and Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from. Enjoy!

Noctis peeked at Prompto out of the corner of his eye and smirked. As expected, his friend was bundled into the corner of the couch, eyes wide and clutching one of the purple suede cushions so tightly that Noct was a little worried it would pop. The prince had already seen the movie they were watching, so he was having more fun keeping an eye on Prompto as his friend worked himself into a terrified mess. Despite the fact that the blonde basically hyperventilated his way through horror films, he kept suggesting them for movie nights. Noct mentally shrugged. If Prompto liked being scared shitless, who was he to deny his friend that particular joy?

They were just getting to the good part when a series of loud thuds boomed through his flat and totally ruined the moment. It wasn't a complete loss, though - Prompto still jumped about fifty feet into the air and yelped like a kicked chocobo. 

"What the hell?" Noctis quickly glanced at his phone. It was late. Way too late for Noct to still be up on a school night - he could picture the exact Six-help-me-if-you-fall-asleep-in-class-again-we-are-going-to-have- _words_ look that Specs would probably level at him the next morning - and _definitely_ way too late for someone to be knocking on his door. 

"Who is it?" Prompto hissed at him.

"How should I know?" Noct hissed back. 

"Maybe they have the wrong place?" The blonde looked like he didn't believe his own suggestion.

"Yeah, maybe," Noct replied skeptically. He took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll be right back. I'm sure it's nothing." Everything was fine. He was the goddamn Crown Prince of Lucis. He wasn't going to lose his shit just because some asshole was trying to knock down his door at two in the morning. But, just in case... Noct reached for the Armiger and after a little pulling and tugging, summoned a small dagger into his hand and tucked it against his forearm. He wasn't nearly as good with daggers as Specs, but he was more than good enough to point and stab in the right direction if needed. Astrals, he'd never hear the end of it from Gladio if he couldn't manage even that. Or Specs, for that matter.

Just as Noct reached his front door, someone pounded on the wood surface again, hard and heavy. The prince startled and nearly sliced his own hand off.

"Noct? Damn it Noct, you'd better be in there! Open up!"

Noctis sagged in relief when he heard the familiar, safe voice of his newly minted Shield. The relief was quickly replaced by annoyance as he yanked the door open.

"Fucking Six, Gladio, what the - " 

Whatever complaint he was going to make - a complaint that was totally justified, because hello, _two in the damn morning_ \- died on its way out of his mouth as he took in the unexpected sight before him. Gladio looked completely unlike his usual, underdressed self. Every inch of skin from the neck down was covered in black clothing, and the Shield was scowling furiously at Noct as if it was the prince's fault that Gladio was forced to cover up his ridiculous muscles. What really caught Noct's attention, though, was the sight of his advisor sagging against Gladio's side, huddled in a large, dark trench coat that was draped around him. Specs was practically hanging off the bigger man's shoulders, and looked as if he wouldn't be upright if it wasn't for the strong arm Gladio had curled around his waist.

"Hey, what's up big guy?" At some point, Prompto had left the safety of the living room and was now leaning curiously against Noct's back, his pointy chin digging into the prince's shoulder. "Whoa, is that... Is he... Dude, is Iggy _drunk_?"

Now that Prompto mentioned it...but no. This was _Specs_. Specs didn't do things like getting shitfaced, especially not on a work night. Or any night, really. Right? Did he? Then again, if anyone could convince Iggy to do something like that, it was probably Gladio. Noct squinted judgmentally at his two retainers. 

Ignis lifted his head and smiled wanly at the two younger boys. His face was pale and a faint sheen of perspiration glimmered on his skin. For some reason, he wasn't wearing his glasses and he looked oddly naked without them. "My apologies for...disturbing your rest," he slurred slowly, miles away from normally crisp enunciation. "I am feeling a bit...a bit, ah, unwell."

"We weren't sleeping," Noct said automatically and then mentally kicked himself. As if that was the important thing right now.

"Damn, Igster, wild night, huh? What's the special occasion?" Prompto asked eagerly. 

Ignis hummed. "Oh, nothing. Just work," he said faintly. Noct frowned. Something seemed off.

"You gonna stand there staring all night or are you gonna let us in?" Gladio growled.

Noct silently stepped aside and Prompto bounced forward towards Gladio and Ignis. "Here, let me help," the blonde offered. Before he could tuck himself under Ignis' other arm, though, Gladio snapped, "I got it! Don't fucking touch him."

Prompto recoiled violently, withdrawing his hand so quickly that he smacked himself in the chest. "Sorry! Sorry. I just thought - "

"It's alright," Ignis murmured. His eyes were beginning to droop shut. "Thank you."

The two retainers gracelessly stumbled forward into the flat and Noct finally figured out what was bothering him. There was a strange, faint odor that hung in the air, and it grew stronger as Gladio and Ignis passed by. It wasn't the sharp tang of alcohol that Noct expected. No, it smelled like heat and metal - 

Blood. Gods, they smelled like _blood._

Panic flooded Noct's system in a sickening rush. _What the fuck is going on?_ Whatever it was, instinct screamed at him that it probably wasn't something that his friend needed to witness. "Hey Prompto? What say we call it a night, huh?" Noctis was distantly proud of the fact that his voice sounded steady, and not at all like he was trapped in some weird nightmare where Specs looked like shit and his retainers reeked of...of pain. Injury. Death.

Prompto turned to him, a tremulous expression on his face. "Sorry," the blonde said again. "I didn't mean to."

"It's not your fault. I mean, it's Specs," Noct said quietly. "He'd probably die of embarrassment if he knew that anyone saw him so trashed. It's nothing personal, you know?" Noct winced internally at the implication that Prompto was just _anyone_ , but his friend didn't seem to take offense. 

"No, I totally get it," Prompto whispered back. "Gladio's just like, defending his honor or whatever. That's cool. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely." Whether Noct would actually be awake and functional was a different question altogether. "You'll be okay getting home?"

"Uh huh. Don't worry about me. Take care of Iggy, okay? Bet he's gonna have the worst hangover ever."

Noctis hoped to all the Astrals that a hangover would be worst of Specs' problems. He shot Prompto a sickly smile as the blonde left, and as soon as he was gone, the prince whirled and ran back into his living room. Gladio kneeled next to the sofa where Ignis was now stretched out. The ugly trench coat was discarded carelessly on the floor, and Ignis' shirt - also black and form-fitting, almost exactly like the one Gladio sported - had been hastily pushed up, revealing an absolute fucking catastrophe.

All Noct could see was red. He guessed that the bandages wrapped tightly around Ignis' middle had been white at some point, but now they were saturated in different shades of red, from bright, fresh crimson to rust red to nearly black. It was smeared all over the little bit of pale skin that was exposed, and though it was kind of hard to see, Noct guessed that blood was also soaked into Specs' clothing. Gods, there was _so much_ of it. 

"I need curatives," Gladio barked sharply. "Anything you have." He didn't even turn around to look at Noct. All his attention was on the chamberlain as he pressed down on whatever wound was hiding underneath the soiled bandages. Noct flinched when Ignis bit off a choked groan.

"I don't... what?" Noct blinked slowly. He knew he should be moving, that he should be shoving every last potion he had into his Shield's hands, but his body was frozen. All he could do was stand there and gape at Specs. Specs, who looked like one of the victims from the slasher flick that he and Prompto had just been watching. The comparison had the prince swallowing convulsively as he tried not to throw up.

"Noctis!" The Shield's impatient voice jarred Noct from his thoughts. "Curatives, now. Get moving!"

The order jerked Noct into motion and he raced towards his bathroom. He flung open the cabinet doors under his sink and swept his entire stash of curatives onto a towel. When the prince had moved into his flat, Ignis had adamantly insisted that Noct stock up on a full complement of potions, elixirs and even one phoenix down in case of emergencies. At the time, Noct had rolled his eyes and accused his advisor of total overkill. Now, he couldn't be more frantically grateful for Ignis' near-pathological need to be prepared for anything and everything.

The prince gathered up his precious bundle and sprinted back to where Gladio was waiting. He dumped his offering on the floor next to the Shield's knees. "Here," he panted. "This is everything I have."

Gladio glanced down and quickly assessed their options. "Elixir. Break it over him," Gladio grunted. He kept his hands over Ignis' side, fingers smeared liberally with blood. "Hurry."

Noct reached for the requested curative with trembling fingers. _That means it's bad. Really bad. I mean, fucking obviously._ It wasn't as if Noct couldn't see with his own eyes that Specs was in big trouble.

The prince inhaled deeply and placed the elixir in Ignis' lax hand. He looked up to find his chamberlain staring at him, his eyes unfocused and his face chalk white. This close, Noct could tell that Specs' entire body was trembling. Six, had he looked this bad just a few moments ago?

"Noct," Ignis whispered between shallow, wheezing breaths. His eyelids slipped shut. "I'm sorry."

The prince tore his gaze away and pressed his lips into flat line. He forced Ignis' fingers to wrap around the vial and to crack it open. The shards from the spelled glass melted away as a cloud of healing magic flowed out. It made a beeline towards whatever injury was spilling blood underneath Gladio's hands.

"Another one," Gladio ordered.

Noct complied and watched silently as the elixir worked its way into Ignis' skin. After a few seconds, Gladio cautiously lifted his hands. He summoned a small, sharp knife into his hand and began to cut off the sodden bandages. They fell away to reveal smooth, pale skin marred only by a shiny pink scar. The Shield rolled the chamberlain's boneless form onto his side to reveal his back, which - oh. Noct swallowed down his nausea again.

"Give him another," Gladio said.

"I don't - I don't have anymore," Noct replied. "Elixirs, I mean."

"Two potions, then. That should be enough to stabilize him."

They watched as the angry wound in Ignis' back finally closed up under the steady stream of healing magic. The Shield sagged heavily against the sofa and he swiped he back of his shaking hand across his face. He left a streak of bright red smeared across his own skin. "Fuck," he muttered. " _Fuck._ "

Noct wholeheartedly agreed. He felt unbalanced, as if something fundamental in his world had shifted sideways and left the ground beneath his feet loose and unstable. A million questions bubbled up in his brain in one giant writhing mass but Noct couldn't find the energy or willpower to untangle them and let them out. After a few minutes of pained silence, Gladio clambered to his feet. He looked exhausted.

"I need to get Iggy to the Citadel," Gladio murmured. "He needs the infirmary."

Noct nodded dumbly as the Shield leaned over and carefully slid his arms underneath Ignis' knees and shoulders. Gladio lifted Specs as if he weighed nothing and gathered the unconscious advisor against his chest, cradling him almost tenderly. All Noct could think about was how much Specs would have hated being carried like a damsel in distress. 

Before he left the flat, Gladio paused. "Noct," he said. "Don't - "

Noctis cut him off. "I won't," he said flatly. "Take care of Specs."

Gladio looked almost taken aback, but he nodded firmly. "I will. And thanks."

And then Noct was all alone in his apartment, standing dazedly and wondering what the hell had just happened. His gaze darted from the coat that had been discarded on his floor to the pile of dirty bandages to the bloodstains soaked into his couch. The vague notion that he should try to clean up, to erase the evidence of the horrific craziness that had just descended on his life, flitted through his mind, but he dismissed it almost as soon as it appeared. He was fucking tired, and he just... He couldn't wrap his head around this shit right now. And so Noct dealt with it the same way he dealt with a lot of his current problems.

He went to bed.

____________________

As predicted, school the next day was an utter fucking disaster. It had taken forever to finally fall asleep, and then Noctis had slept through his first two alarms. He only managed to peel his eyelids open and drag himself out of bed because he'd flung his phone across the room, and it was the only way to get the damn thing to shut up. Not the smartest move on his part, but whatever - Noct had long ago accepted that he wasn't exactly a morning person. Add in the fact that he'd abruptly remembered why Specs hadn't been around to pester him awake and Noct's day had immediately gone from bad to the very worst in about two seconds.

The prince had studiously avoided looking at his living room as he rushed out the door. A quick scroll through his phone revealed a message that had come through at six that morning, informing him that "Mr. Scientia is unexpectedly unavailable this morning", and that another Crownsguard member would pick him up to drive him to school. It wasn't the first time Noct had gotten this particular message, but Ignis usually followed up with a separate text making his apologies and explaining the reason for his absence. The prince had a feeling that there would be no personal touch this time, and suddenly wondered how often Specs had missed their mornings together because of...of something like _that._ Noct had worked his way through a mild panic attack, wondering whether Ignis was even alive still, but - no. The bleeding had stopped and Specs had been breathing steadily when Gladio had whisked him away. _But what if..._ Noct's mind stalled. Anyway, someone would have told him. Noctis had to believe that. Everything was fine.

He managed to fall asleep during algebra and Lucian history - which, to be fair, happened pretty often even when he'd gotten a full night's rest - and realized he'd left his essay for Tenebraean lit and his economics paper at home. Noct was also pretty sure that he'd failed his biology quiz. He'd stared down at the diagram of a dissected frog on his test sheet and despite the fact that he'd spent the entire fucking day trying very hard not to think about it, all he could wonder was which of Ignis' organs had been damaged by the ugly wound punched into his body.

"Hey Noct! Dude, wait up!"

Prompto's bright voice cut through the sleep-deprived fog clouding his brain and Noct silently groaned. They hadn't seen each other all day, and even though Noctis hadn't been like, _purposely_ avoiding the other boy per se, guilt ate at him anyway. He slowed down his gait to let the blonde catch up.

"Hey, what's up," Noct said, as nonchalantly as he could manage. _Please don't ask, please don't ask, please don't ask._

"Oh you know, same old awesomeness. Was it just me or did the curry at lunch today look like they scraped it of the locker room floor?"

"What's it matter? It's not like you actually eat anything from the cafeteria." 

Prompto shuddered. "You bet I don't. I want to make it to graduation without like, turning into a mutant sewer monster or something. Having a third arm would totally ruin the photos, you know?"

Noct gave his friend a half-hearted smile and then listened absently as the blonde boy rambled on about his day. It was almost soothing, a reminder that this was his real life. This had nothing to do with the horror show of the prior evening. It was hard to believe that it had even really happened, out here under the mellow afternoon sunshine. 

When they finally reached the town car that was waiting for the prince, Prompto lowered his voice and leaned in close. "So, hey, how's Iggy doing? He looked kinda wrecked last night."

_Gods, if you only knew._ Noct took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, and boy, wasn't that a fucking mistake. The memory of Specs laying silent and still danced behind his eyelids and damn it, he really didn't want to deal with this.

"I didn't even know it was possible for Iggy to look anything less than totally perfect. I mean, I don't think I've even seen him with, like, his shirt all wrinkly or crumbs on his face after eating a sandwich or whatever, much less - "

"He's good. He's totally fine," Noct interrupted. And because Specs had actually managed to drill some manners into him, he added, "Thanks for asking."

"Sure, no problem! That's good to hear. Heh, it's kinda weird to imagine Iggy being all hungover and pukey, you know?"

"Yeah, totally weird," Noct echoed faintly, and he loved Prompto but _gods_ he was desperate to be anywhere but here, standing on the sidewalk and pretending like the only thing wrong with Specs was a low tolerance for alcohol. Which wasn't even true. The driver's side door of the waiting car opened, and Noct perked up because _yes please_ he needed to get out of here. "Sorry Prompto, I gotta go."

"Yeah, me too. Think I'm gonna go for a quick run. Catch you later!" Prompto yelled as he raced away.

Noct had been expecting another random Crownsguard member to drive him home, but no, of course not. Not with the way his shitty day was going so far. The oversized figure of his Shield was leaning casually against the car, holding the rear car door open. Noct groaned in frustration. 

"Nice to see you too," Gladio said. "Get in."

Noct stalled and considered walking home instead. How far away was his flat again? 

"Noct. Get in the car," Gladio insisted. "Don't make me pick you up and throw you in, 'cause I will."

With a scowl, Noct obeyed, because yes, Gladio definitely would, the overbearing dickhead. He slouched down in the back seat and immediately whipped out his phone, hoping that the Shield would get the hint and leave him alone. Not that he really expected it; for someone that was supposed to be his retainer and work _for_ him, Gladio was really fucking terrible at catering to Noct's desires. 

"Noct, we need to talk." Gladio twisted his large frame in the driver's seat so that he was facing the prince.

Noct tossed his phone on the seat next to him and glared at the back of the passenger seat. "About what."

Gladio pursed his lips and scowled disapprovingly, but that wasn't anything new. "Don't play dumb, princess. It ain't a good look. You wanna go back to your place, or to the Citadel?"

Noct crossed his arms tightly. "I don't know what you mean."

"Fine. We'll do this at your place."

Without a word, Gladio turned back around and started the car. The drive was spent in silence, and by the time they reached Noct's building, the prince was a giant knot of stress. All the worries and questions that he'd managed to shove to the back of his mind spilled back out in an anxiety-inducing puddle. By the time Noct opened the door to his flat, he was so tightly wound that he was starting to get a tension headache.

"So what..."

Noct trailed off as his gaze wandered disbelievingly over his living room. His previously bloodstained living room no longer looked like a crime scene. The pile of used bandages was gone, and the cushions of his sofa were completely clean, absent of the dark, rusty stains that had stained them. Even the trench coat that had hidden Specs' injury had disappeared. The only evidence of the previous night's carnage was the neat row of unused curatives on the coffee table. 

Gladio made his way to the sofa and sat down, right in the same spot where Specs had lay, bleeding and barely conscious. "They've probably wiped the footage from the security cameras too," the Shield said gravely. "It was a risk, bringing him here."

"Then why did you?" Noct blurted out. 

"'Cause I had no other choice. We wouldn't have made it to the Citadel in time."

There was no way to mistake the meaning of Gladio's words. Noct began to pace furiously, doing his best not to have a fucking panic attack because Specs could have _died_ last night. He could have just disappeared from Noct's life, and that's just...he's not... _oh gods_. The prince jerked to a stop and bent over at the waist, jamming his fists into his thighs.

A large, warm hand landed on his back. "He's alive, Noct. Iggy's gonna be fine, thanks to your help."

Noctis nodded. "Good," he choked out. Warmth spilled down his cheeks. "That's good."

Gladio grabbed a hold of the prince's shoulders, hauled him upright and enveloped him in a tight hug. Noct didn't exactly have a touchy-feely kind of relationship with Gladio, but fuck it - he needed this and he thought maybe Gladio did too. The prince wrapped his arms around his Shield's waist and pressed his face against Gladio's reassuring bulk. 

"Hey. I'm sorry, okay?" Gladio said eventually. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

_But I did._ Noct had a nauseating feeling that he was going to be forced to see Specs dying in his dreams for the foreseeable future. He focused on breathing, in and out, in and out, until the world no longer felt so shaky.

"You alright?"

Noct pulled away and swiped at his eyes. "Um, yeah. Yeah, I think so." 

They collapsed down onto the spotless sofa and Noctis clutched a pillow against his chest. "So," Noct said.

"Ask what you want, Noct. I'll tell you as much as I can."

"What - " Noct's fingers clenched around the edge of the pillow. "What happened? For Specs to be...to end up like that?"

Gladio's face did some interesting things as he considered Noct's question, but he answered steadily, his eyes locked on the prince's own. "Iggy and I were on assignment last night. The intel was bad, and our target got the jump on us. We were able to take her down, but not before she got her blows in. We'd already used up our allotted curatives by the time Iggy was hit."

Whatever it was that Noct thought he was expecting, it certainly wasn't _this._ The prince was almost certain that his mouth was hanging open and letting flies in. What in Titan's name were his retainers doing in their free time? "I don't... What the fuck does that even mean? On assignment? What assignment? What are you, like super spies or something?"

"No," Gladio drawled. "Not exactly."

"Then what, like secret assassins?" Noct scoffed. He was joking, he was _joking,_ for gods' sake, but Gladio wasn't smiling and suddenly Noctis felt queasy.

"Are there any other kind? It would be pretty fucking hard to do our job if everyone knew who we were."

"You've got to be kidding." Noctis was pretty sure that if his eyes widened any further, they'd pop right out of his skull. He dug his fingernails into his forearms and winced at the sharp stab of pain. But no, this couldn't be real. Had he offended one of the Astrals, somehow? Had a Messenger sent him to an alternate universe where everyone had gone completely fucking insane? It seemed more likely than the idea that Gladio and Ignis were...were... "Wait, so you like, _kill_ people?"

"If we need to, yes." 

Noct had no idea how Gladio sounded so calm, so steady. Like he was telling Noct that he'd had a bit of indigestion after eating a greasy burger for dinner. Like it was unfortunate and a bit uncomfortable, but hey, no biggie. The prince felt like he was going to burst out of his skin, unable to contain the information his Shield was cooly shelling out.

"Like, Lucian citizens? You go out at night and kill the...the people I'm supposed to lead one day? My people? What the fuck, Gladio!"

"Shit, you want your entire building to hear this? Stop yelling, and stop freaking out!"

"I'm not freaking out, so fuck you!" Noct shouted, which was a lie because he was definitely freaking out. What the hell had Gladio expected? "I can't believe you'd do something like that!"

Gladio sighed. "Noct, it's not like we pick off innocent people on the street," he said reasonably. "The targets we go after, they're all confirmed traitors to the Crown."

Noct felt like his brain was going to short-circuit. "But you can't... That doesn't make it right! There's a system for that shit, with trials and juries and judges and stuff. You can't just...just _murder_ them!"

The Shield sighed again. "We can if they're an imminent and deadly threat and the king tells us to. Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but we do it to protect you, alright?" 

Noct squeezed his eyes shut. _Six, that just makes it worse._ There was nothing he could say that would make any of this right, so he kept his mouth shut. It was just too much to wrap his head around. Noct had could barely believe that Gladio would be capable and willing to do something like this, and Gladio was his Shield, oathsworn to defend and protect him. But Ignis... Specs, _his Specs,_ who wouldn't let him get away with ignoring boring Council reports but would be willing to read them out loud while Noct pretended to nap, who waxed poetic about the benefits of eating a balanced diet but would still let Noct eat fries for dinner if he was having a particularly bad day, who could be merciless with his red pen but drew little smiley faces next to sentences that he particularly liked when editing Noct's school reports. Not Specs. There was just no goddamn way.

The Shield heaved himself to his feet. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this," Gladio rumbled. "For the record, Iggy didn't want to tell you. He was pissed as hell that I got you involved. But you would have found eventually anyway. No point in hiding it from you now."

A heavy hand landed on Noct's shoulder. The prince shrank down into a wretched little ball. He just wanted to be left alone. Gladio got the hint and released him, but not without giving him a bone-jarring pat first. The prince glared at Gladio.

"It's our duty, Noct. Giving me the stink-eye ain't gonna change anything."

Maybe not, but that didn't mean that Noct wasn't going to try. He kept frowning at his Shield's broad back moved away from him, and kept going until it was out the door and out of his sight.

____________________

Bright sunlight flooded Noct's room, rudely piercing through his eyelids and sweeping away half-doze he'd been indulging in since he'd woken up an hour ago.

"Ugh," Noctis mumbled. He yanked his duvet over his head and sighed with relief when the hated light was blocked out. "Go 'way."

A hand grabbed at one of his legs and gave it a gentle shake. "Up you get, Noct. Time for breakfast."

Suddenly, Noct was wide awake. He threw the covers off and propped himself on his elbows. "Specs?"

His advisor stood by his bed, looking like...well, like he usually did. Tall, wiry, and neatly put-together in a pair of dark grey trousers and white button-down shirt despite the fact that it was Saturday and most normal people were still rolling around in their pajamas. A small, shy smile quirked the corner of Ignis' mouth, and Noct couldn't hold back the tide of emotion that roared up out of nowhere. Tears stung his eyes and it was only through the heroic exertion of massive amounts of sheer fucking willpower that the prince managed to avoid starting his day bawling like a damn baby. Gods, this was really not how he wanted to start his weekend. 

"Good morning, Noctis," Ignis said. "I hope you'll forgive me for dropping by unannounced."

Noct found himself torn between the desire to either launch himself into Ignis' arms and never let go, or to lock himself in the bathroom until his chamberlain - his _assassin_ chamberlain, gods that was just so fucking wrong - went away. Unable to decide what to do, he just froze instead. It clearly wasn't the response that Ignis had been expecting, and his smile melted away, leaving behind a faint moue of uncertainty.

"I - I wanted to see how you were doing. And to apologize for my, ah, rather lengthy absence."

It had been five days since Noct had last seen Specs fading away in his living room. Since Noctis had returned from Tenebrae after the marilith attack, the longest period of time the prince had been separated from his advisor was two days, when Ignis had caught pneumonia and simply didn't have the energy to haul himself out of bed, no matter how hard he tried. Noctis had pestered Specs endlessly during that time, so much so that Gladio had threatened to take his phone away and feed it to a daemon if he didn't leave Ignis alone. That hadn't really been a problem, this time.

Noct knew that he should have gone to see Ignis. Or at least called, or sent a text, or something. But after the bombs that Gladio had dropped on his head, it had been easier to just...not. Noct had needed some time to get his shit together so that he didn't vomit his questions and accusations all over a recovering Ignis the same way he did to Gladio, but then a day went by, and then another, and then it was too late to inquire after Ignis' health without it being really awkward. So Noct had just let it lie and stewed in his guilt instead. _It's not a big deal,_ Noct had thought. _Gladio said that Iggy's fine. He'll be okay, he just needs some rest._

Still, five days was a long time and a hot shame flooded through Noct as he sat there and listened to Ignis apologize, as if the advisor had been away on an impromptu holiday instead of taking time to recover from a near-death experience. "You don't have to apologize," Noct mumbled. "It's...it's fine." 

Six, that was a fucking stupid thing to say. None of this was even remotely fine, but now that it was out there, Noct couldn't take it back. He flushed red as he practically threw himself off his bed and retreated to his ensuite. "I, uh, need to...pee. Shower. And stuff. Gimme a minute."

"Of course," Ignis replied briskly, his dutiful mask snapping back into place. "I'll be in the kitchen. You must be hungry."

Half an hour was apparently the hard limit on how long Ignis would let Noct hide in the bathroom. The prince had been perched on the edge of the bathtub, staring off into space when a gentle knock sounded at the door.

"Your Highness? Is everything alright?"

_No, Specs, everything is not fucking alright,_ Noct thought. Seriously, he thought that Specs was supposed to be the smart one. The prince scrubbed tiredly at his face.

"May I come in?"

Ignis took Noct's silence as an affirmative and cracked the door open. "Noct?"

"Yeah."

The advisor slid into the small bathroom and shut the door behind him. He leaned back against the door, a tired look on his face. "You've spoken to Gladio," he said quietly. It wasn't a question.

There was a hole that was about to wear through the knee of Noct's threadbare pajama bottoms, and he scratched at it, feeling the threads give and catch under his fingernail. Specs would probably insist on mending the tear himself, hunching over the worn clothing with a needle and thread, since Noct refused to let his chamberlain throw the pants away. "Tell me it's not true," Noct finally said.

"I will if that's what you want me say, Your Highness" Ignis assured gently.

And that was part of the problem, wasn't it? The lengths that Ignis would go to, if he thought it would help Noct, make him happy. Keep him safe. The prince had never really given it much thought, before. Then again, it had never felt so dangerous. Noct knew, in an abstract sense, that his retainers were trained to be lethal, especially Gladio, but it was really fucking hard to look at his stuffy, annoyingly perfect chamberlain and think 'deadly'.

"Don't 'Your Highness' me right now," the prince snapped. "Why do you _do_ that?"

"I beg your pardon." Ignis sounded genuinely contrite, which somehow just made Noct more upset. He wrinkled his nose in frustration. 

"You guys don't have to, you know," Noct blurted. "I don't want you to, not for me. You shouldn't have to do that, and I'd never make you. _Never._ "

And because Specs was Specs, he understood exactly what Noct was trying to say. He made his way to the prince's side and settled gingerly on the cold edge of the porcelain tub, close enough that Noct could feel the warmth of his body but not close enough to touch. "I know you wouldn't, Noctis," the advisor said softly. "And that is exactly why I'm willing to do anything. Protecting you is our privilege."

"But it's wrong!"

Ignis sighed. "Perhaps it is. But I consider it a matter of perspective, and nothing that keeps you from harm could seem wrong to me."

That was just too much to unpack. Noct shoved it aside. It was too early to have some crappy philosophical discussion, and anyway, Noct was more interested in practical things. Like making sure his retainers weren't running around doing bad things. "Would you stop? If I asked you to?"

Ignis rubbed at the bridge of his nose, lifting up the frameless spectacles that he'd swapped in for the chunkier pair he'd worn before. "It's not quite that simple. We've both sworn an oath to the king. You weren't even supposed to know, not until you reached your majority."

His dad always rambled on about responsibility and duty and other mindnumbing shit and for the most part Noct let it go in one ear and spill out the other because he'd heard a million variations on the same lecture over and over again since he was basically in diapers. But with the heavy weight of Ignis' devotion - of both his retainers, really - knocking into Noctis' gut like a physical blow, he suddenly thought that he understood. He finally got it, and with that realization came the sickening insight that Regis felt the same way and still let his retainers murder people on his behalf. Worse, he'd asked Noct's retainers to do the same, without Noct's permission, without even fucking asking. Specs could have died and Noct would never have had a chance to prevent it from happening. The prince ground his teeth together so hard that his jaw squeaked in protest.

"And then what?"

Ignis scooted a tiny bit closer. "I'm not certain. There may be an opportunity to revisit the issue, if you wish. It's up to His Majesty."

Noct nodded. He hadn't seen much of his dad of late, but he'd make damn sure that they saw each other soon. Very soon. "Have...have you been hurt like that? Before?"

"Thankfully, no," Ignis muttered, and Noct decided to believe that his advisor was telling the truth, if only for the sake of his own sanity. "We're usually well-equipped to deal with any emergencies."

The prince sniffled. "Prompto thought you were drunk."

Ignis hummed thoughtfully. "It's for the best that Prompto continues to think so, as galling as it is."

Noctis sighed and finally allowed some of the tension to flow out his muscles. He sagged against Ignis and was immediately wrapped up in one strong, slender arm. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you," he mumbled. Noct hated how timid his voice sounded, but Specs didn't seem to notice or mind.

"It's fine. You don't ever need to apologize, Noctis, not to me. I understand."

That was wrong too, but Noct didn't have the energy to argue. Not when Specs was pressed up against his side, warm and solid and _alive. I'm going to make this right,_ Noct thought fiercely. _I promise._ His retainers served him because it was their duty, but Noctis had a duty to them as well and he fully intended on fulfilling it.

"You're really okay?"

"Perfectly okay, Noct. Always."


End file.
